Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Who Stole Green?

Sounds like a punch line for a second grader's bad joke, don't it? But, really, I have occassion to actually ask who the fuck stole the color green? I want it back!

Actually, I guess "stole" isn't quite the right word, more like deleted. Green has somehow disappeared from all known color charts and graphs. I guess I really should try to explain this a little bit...

I have spent the last month and a half helping to get the backyard put together in a plan that I have no idea what the hell the final outcome is supposed to be. Basically, they point, I dig, plant, mulch, whatever. I am the non-paid labor on the project and my opinion is not needed nor wanted, so I just do as I am told. This past weekend, we finally get to a point when I cleared out all the trash and waste from a month and a half of planting and leaving the empty containers where ever they fell that it actually looks like we have a backyard instead of a hazardous material waste dump. There are some flowers blooming, a little bit of grass left, assorted bushes, and lawn furniture for 20 when the most I have ever seen in the backyard at one time is three. I take a step back, and say "Alright, now it's done they can just maintain it and actually enjoy the backyard now." Oh, pity me and my logical mind!

The only statement that came out of the job foreperson's mouth was "I need to go to the nursery to get something that has some COLOR in it now." I swear, if murder was not a capital offense in this state, I would have thought more about it than I did! As it is, I damn near bit my tongue in half to keep from blurting out "What the fuck? Since when is green NOT a color?!?"

Now, I know it has been nearly twenty years since I took an art class, but at least I passed the fucking thing. As far as I can remember, green was still a fucking color then! Who deleted it since then, and more importantly, where is the backspace key to fix it? I want it back!

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